The tower was dark. They were all asleep. Good. They wouldn’t be able to stop him.

Need more friends with wings…

All the angels I know…

Put concrete in my veins…

He straightened the picture of Terra before he began. It seemed like the right thing to do.

I’d always walk home alone…

So I became lifeless,

Just like my telephone…

The shadows covered him, as if they were ashamed of his choice, but he didn’t care what they supposedly thought. He’d had it. It was the last straw, and he couldn’t go on.

There’s nothing to lose

When no one knows your name…

There’s nothing to gain

But the days don’t seem to change…

They’d probably ask why they hadn’t seen it coming. But they were his friends. They should know. But even that wouldn’t stop him.

But just to be sure, he’d leave it in writing. To know just what their ignorance had done to him.

Never played truth or dare…

I’d have to check my mirror…

To see if I’m still here…

They thought they understood his pain. Hell, they trivialized it. Trivialized his suffering. Laughed at what he felt in his heart. What kind of friends were those?

My parents had no clue…

That I ate all my lunches

Alone in the bathroom…

He wrote slowly, the darkness not impeding him. He made no excuses, not for himself. And he made sure he laid the blame exactly where it belonged: on their heads.

They never understood him anyway. Well, she did. But she was gone now.

Why fight it any more?

Things weren’t supposed to be easy…but after all he’d endured, it was simply too much. Hell, maybe it had been too much from the start. Maybe he should have done this earlier…

There’s nothing to lose

When no one knows your name…

There’s nothing to gain

But the days don’t seem to change…

Things change. Right. Some things should never change. And some people can’t stand it when they do. Garfield Logan knew that now.

It wasn’t fair. How could they actually expect him to carry on?

He guessed that this was what he got, being him, wanting what he had…and what it had gotten him.

In this, he’d make sure they realized that fact, and its consequence.

There’s nothing to lose

My notebook will explain…

There’s nothing to gain

And I can’t fight the pain…

He finished writing, and put the note aside. They probably wouldn’t notice it at first. They’d probably be drawn to the mess. It was a messy business.

He didn’t care.

Teacher said it’s just a phase…

When I grow up my children

Will probably do the same…

No more delaying. Time to start.

Kids just love to tease

Who knew it'd put me under ground

At seventeen…

He’d picked a good sharp knife. And he knew how to cut with maximum efficiency.

There’s nothing to lose

When no one knows your name

There’s nothing to gain

But the days don’t seem to change…

He stared at the knife for a moment, as if marveling about what it was going to do. But he knew he didn’t have any more time to marvel.

He had to finish it.

He didn’t have a choice.

He bid farewell to all the agony, and lowered the blade…

There’s nothing to lose…

My notebook will explain…

There’s nothing to gain…

And I can’t fight the pain…


The light abruptly snapped on, flooding the kitchen…and like the deer he could become, leaving Beast Boy frozen in the headlights…poised over the black forest cake he had just been prepared to start cutting apart and gobbling down.

“Nice try Gar, but you forgot the girl who will sometimes meditate long into the night, the girl who can sense emotions…and the girl who would be curious why she’s sensing mischievous joy when she should be at utter peace since all her teammates are supposedly sleeping.” Raven said.

“There’s nothing to lose, when no one knows your name…” The radio in the corner played, very softly.

“Aw MANNNNNNNN!” Beast Boy complained as he set the knife down, as Raven, in costume, walked over to the table. She picked up the note and perused it.

“Dear guys. I’m sorry about making the mess and eating your food, but you shouldn’t have put me on a diet to begin with. So you can live with the loss of your cheesecake. Sincerely, Beast Boy.” Raven said, and put the letter back down. “Nice. Wrong cake though. That’s black forest cake.”

“I didn’t want the fridge light on any longer then it had to be. Had to grab ASAP…grabbed the wrong one. I can write in the dark, being able to have cat’s eyes allows you to do that…but even seeing it in the dark cakes all look alike.” Beast Boy grumped. “I deserve that cake. Having a few extra pounds doesn’t mean I need to diet. I wish Terra was still with us. She’d support me.”

“Yes, but she’s gone now, ‘Garfield’. I thought you’d accepted that.”

“I have...But what I will NOT accept is your diet!” Beast Boy said, as he crossed his arms and tried to look fierce…and came off more like he was a sulking puppy.

“There’s nothing to gain…but the days don’t seem to change…there’s nothing to lose…” The radio played. Raven glanced at it.

“Let me guess. You put the old radio on, trusting the noise to cover yours…but softly enough so that if anyone heard it they’d think it’d just turned on by itself, which it does sometimes because it’s old…and softly enough that they’d just roll over with a promise to turn it off in the morning rather then tromp downstairs to get it. Clever Beast Boy. You surprise me.”

“I don’t ALWAYS doze off when Robin’s telling us stuff, you know.”

“…When no one knows your name…there’s nothing to gain….and I just di-”

Raven’s eyes glowed briefly and the radio shut off.

“But as well thought as your plan was Beast Boy, I can’t let you eat this.” Raven said, as she picked up the cake.

“Ok, fine! Take it! I don’t like black forest cake anyway! It’s…too…black!” Beast Boy stumbled, as Raven opened the fridge.

And turned back holding something else.

“Without ice cream. Needs ice cream.” Raven said, as she came back to the table with the cake and a small tub. Beast Boy stared.

“…But…my diet?”

“Robin put you on the diet because at times he’s an anal-retentive overbearing prick who finds problems where there really aren’t any and he’s too stubborn to admit he’s wrong. Starfire supports him because she always does. Cyborg supports him because he finds the whole thing funny. I never said I supported it.” Raven said, as she pried the lid off the tub of ice cream. “Besides, if I eat this whole thing by myself Robin will put ME on a diet. Or he’ll try anyway. I doubt he’ll succeed.”

“…Well, any port in a storm.” Beast Boy said as he sat down. “…You know, us eating sweets alone, secretly at that, could certainly be misconstrued.”

“What have I told you about ruining moments?” Raven said, glaring while she picked up the knife.

“I’ll be quiet.” Beast Boy said. Raven, meanwhile, was examining the knife.

“On second thought, maybe your plan wasn’t as well thought out as I thought…considering that with a knife as sharp as this, and the fact you were cutting in the dark, you could have accidentally slit your wrist.”

“Oh come now Raven. Give me SOME credit.” Beast Boy said. “I may have my bad moments, but cut my own wrists? Never happen.”

“I know.” Raven said, as she cut the cake.


Song by Billy Talent.